Trying not to get ahead of myself

in more ways than one.

We have found a house and had an offer accepted, verbally. Contracts will hopefully be exchanged today. I have spent all weekend thinking about the house and hoping it will work out as it is a big change from our original plan of buying a renovated place in easy walking distance from Paddy's dad. It is completely unnrenovated and about 20 mins walk (5 mins drive) away! We will rennovate before we move in - with an aim to moving in in March before the baby comes. I have swung madly (as is my way) from thinking it is all completely possible to trying to convince myself not to get my hopes up.

I have found a lump in my breast last week - which I have tried to convince myself is nothing but it isn't going away. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow and I have swung madly from thinking it is nothing to thinking I am going to lose my breast and/or leave my child motherless.