There is history (hairstory?) so let me fill you in before you help me make this decision.
For most of my life I have had short hair, the last time I had really long hair was when I was 21 and it was very long and the natural curl in it was - um - 'enhanced' by a perm. Sometime after 21 and before 22 I cut it short. It has been short all of the time since then. Sometimes down to my ears but mainly very very short.
Gaye also has very very short hair and did when I met her. And although this shouldn't concern me a bit that we have similar (they aren't the same but people do tend to lump short hair cuts in together) hair but on some level it does. The lesbian urge to merge thing I think.
Still it wasn't enough to inspire me to do anything with my hair until about a year ago when I suddenly thought - I am thirty-seven if I don't grow my hair one more time before I get grey and one of those funky short grey haircuts are the go I will regret it. So I started growing it. Plus someone in my street confused Gaye and I and I thought I want to make a distinction. OK plus Alice on the L Word was wearing pigtails and I thought I want some of those!
I decided not to be to tough on myself and so had plenty of haircuts along the way trying to avoid as much as possible the difficult bits, but it was still pretty trying. Anyway it is long now. And although I have been saying this for about six months and it hasn't actually been true, it is now true that I have hair that people would describe as long. As in 'she is the one with long red curly hair.'
Here is the thing thou:
- I am actually not sure that it suits me long
- I don't know how to 'do' things with long hair and feel self conscious when I do things like pigtails
- I am not feeling all that good about myself (hence returning somewhat to WW recently - gawd now I have put that on the blog I will actually have to keep going) and wonder is it because my hair doesn't feel like me.
- The upkeep is much more intense than short hair, well actually I do the same as I did (shower, towel dry, product, out the door) but the consistency of results are not the same!
So a couple of weeks ago I made an appointment to have it cut off. It is next week.
But now I am thinking maybe I should live with it a bit longer, (lose weight and then do it?) cause suddenly it isn't looking or feeling so bad.
What to do internets? What to do?