Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Taking up the challenge

I am taking up Lois' challenge... nice thing to do really sit around and think about what I like about Gaye...

Where did you meet?
We met at work and we were both going through separations from long time partners and we bonded over that. I remember her as the first person that seemed like one of my friends – everyone else seemed so straight and old. She was much more senior than me and I was so impressed that she had worked her way up the ladder to that point at her age.
How long did you date? Hmmm that is complicated really we were a bit on and off at first – what is dating exactly? Is it before you say ‘in a relationship’ or before you move in? We were in a relationship about three years before we moved in together.
How old is she? Gaye is 40 thou she doesn’t look it. People are forever asking me how much older I am than her…and I am 18 months younger.
Who eats more? She does but she is also much thinner.
Who said, “I love you” first? I imagine it was me. I am much more emotionally forthcoming and I was much more sure of my feelings earlier than she was. To me the feelings part of it was straightforward. I don’t remember when I told her but I clearly remember when she told me. We were camping.
Who is taller? I am much, but most people wouldn’t notice as Gaye almost always wears heels. The first time we kissed when she had her shoes off I stopped and said ‘wow you are much shorter than me huh!’
Who sings better? Me – Gaye is enthusiastic but not all that tuneful. Apparently one of her earlier partners used to ask her – very gently and nicely – not to sing for a bit from time to time. She sings to Al all day and night and he loves it. I hope to hear her singing all my life.
Who is smarter? She is – she used to argue the point I was ‘cause I had a Masters and she didn’t. But now she has one of those (with a D average at that) and the truth of it is she has all the sorts of smarts – traditional academic smarts, good ideas, common sense, ability to see the big and small picture, keeping things on track and is very intuitive with people.
Whose temper is worse? Mine is a more regular visitor to our lives. I am more likely to get grumpy or impatient and tend to be loud about it. But is short lived. Gaye’s bad moods come much less often but they have incredible staying power. She is quiet and controlled with her temper. Much more scary than me!
Who does the laundry? We have so much washing it is hard to tell. But most weeks mainly me with plenty of input from Gaye.
Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?At home Gaye – but that is because I sleep near the door
Who pays the bills?Gaye – she has been sorting out our finances since we lived together. We sometimes talk about swapping.
Who cooks dinner?Gaye mainly, thou I do it too but increasingly less often. She can whip up dinner in a moment. We share when we are having visitors.
Who drives when you are together? Gaye usually, but sometimes me. She will always do most on long haul trips.
Who is more stubborn?Hmmm – depends on the issue. I have a couple of issues around Thomas that I am completely unmoving on. Gaye has more staying power than me on everything else thou.
Who kissed whom first? She kissed me. I am such a sop it still makes me feel a bit swoony when I think of it. She said ‘I don’t think I can let you go home without kissing you’ and then she did.
Who is the first to admit to being wrong?That would be me – but I am most usually in the wrong!
Whose parents do you see the most?Mine – they live closer but we usually see hers for longer stretches of time.
Who proposed?Can’t be getting married in this country so no proposals for us. We have discussed if we would get married if we could and that has been initiated by both of us at different times.
What’s her best physical attribute? See I could say her eyes – they are blue and sparkly and warm but actually I think it is the way she carries herself. One story demonstrates this well I think.

Gaye is a bit of flirt and a chatter-up of people (this is like all people the bloke at the grocery store, the newspaper seller). She also ‘notices’ people – well women. I am a bit hopeless in relationships and only really ‘see’ my partner in that ‘woo hoo she is a bit of hottie’ sort of way. In the early days of our relationship I would tease her about the flirting and she would point women out to me who she thought were spunky.
Anyway when we were living in different cities she was in town for work for a week or so and staying with me. We left for the day both dressed in suits and went to our different meetings in different parts of town. Her finishing time was unclear so we agreed to meet up at home and go out for dinner locally. I decided to leave work early and was in town walking to the station. As I walked along a woman in jeans, a white shirt, heels and a leather jacket walked across the road in the other direction (back towards my work place) in front of me about 4 blocks away. And I thought – hmm she is a bit of spunk! (I then felt completely mortified because I had never had that feeling before and I wondered if it meant something).
Course it turned out to be Gaye, changed and come back into town to meet me as a surprise. She was to far away to really see and I wasn't expecting her so I think it is just the way she carries herself. I often notice it when she is walking towards me from somewhere or standing at the kitchen bench. It is just yummy...
Who has more friends?Gaye – she has a lot of friends and they are all over the country. Se forms really solid friendships with people that she is careful and respectful of.
What are you most proud of her for?Lots of things she lives her life with integrity, she is kind and just. She is an amazing mother and showed real resilience around following the realisation of that dream. But most proud? Probably the way she has taken and accepted Thomas into her life and her heart.
Who has more siblings? Me I have two she has one.
Who wears the pants in the family?Hmm – generally I wear the actual trousers; Gaye likes a frock (over the pants of late with her boots) or a skirt and heels. But in the other sense – Gaye I think, she is definitely the leader, inspirer and decision forcer! Without her strength of conviction I would still be avoiding change and deliberating.

Feel free to take up the challenge yourself...let me know if you do

2 comments:

Holly said...

That was wonderful! I'm so glad you took up the challenge! It was so great reading about you two!

thetwinkle said...

i've taken the challenge!