Tuesday, June 13, 2006


Shelli has asked us some questions and Gaye and I are so excited to be interviewed for the first time on the blog so we are answering them together. By the way - Shelli and Narda we think your girl is completely gorgeous!

1) Besides tea, what other things would be nice to “magically appear” for you?

Apart from another baby...and a perfect home at a reasonable price? Hmmm - we could go big picture and wish for a true social justice and equity in this country - we seem to be moving further and further away from a 'fair go' in Australia. Or perhaps something more realistic - a gorgeous day filled with good friends and great food!

I could mention the thing we both are wishing would magically disappear which is about 5 kilos (Gaye) and 10 kilos (Clare) - back to WW we go! (Perhaps we should enter into a cyber pact Shelli? )

2) What is the best and worst thing about being a soccer "mum?"

I will answer this one (Clare), as this is completely my gig! The best thing is getting to know Thomas' friends and see him enjoy something. He loves it and I like being part of it with him. I love that he is growing and getting his own interests and passions. It is completely funny watching them play. The worst thing is when people take it over seriously and how adults completely loose the ability to do things (like remember where they are meant to be and when) when they have another adult (ie me) who does remember.

3) Now that KD has said he can no longer go through with it, what is your next step - will you go with a new KD, or with frozen?

Gaye said ‘well we are going with frozen’ and I said you would probably want more detail … we had to move to another clinic because the one we were with wont use unknown. We had to wait about a month to get in there – that was two weeks ago. We went for the appointment and apart from the fact that the Dr was completely annoying the really shitty thing was that she went through the whole thing of asking us four hundred questions (including my history for some reason I don’t understand) at the very end she said – very nice but we don’t have any sperm for single women or lesbians and are not sure when we will. Basically, don’t call us we will call you. We walked out of the appointment $250.00 out of pocket and with low spirits.

The next morning I did a bit of a ring around other clinics in the (not so) local area asking the ridiculous question of ‘hello, do you have any sperm for single women/lesbians?’ I found one that did and so we have an appointment there next week…

So we wait again.

Fingers crossed….

4) Would you care to talk more about the pink elephant - aka - the tumour and the meds?

I am going to answer this one too (Gaye would probably have a different answer!)

Well, it isn’t all that exciting or interesting really – in fact it is dead boring. I have a pituitary adenoma, which makes my poor body think it is permanently in a state of PMT.
I have been through all sorts of drugs and treatments and times in my life where I haven’t taken anything... up until recently it was always a decision about what would make me feel worse side effects of the drugs or the tumour itself. It impacts on my fertility but makes me a fabulous breast feeder!

It has been pretty devastating for me at times – the fertility issues and the acceptance of a condition that needs to be managed. I have had a pretty conflicted relationship with my body and my inability to manage this without ongoing medication has felt like a failure.

About three months ago (after falling to pieces yet again) I went on a new drug, which seems to have much less side effects and am hopeful it will prove a long term solution.

5) Describe your fantasy wedding with Gaye.

I can honestly say that Gaye and I have never had a detailed conversation about this. Marriage is not a legal possibility in Australia (and won’t be anytime soon) for gals like us. It feels a long long away.

So you have prompted this…

We would like a celebration with our family and friends where we can declare our love and intention to be with each other always. For us it would be lovely to have the blessing of family and friends and the public and legal acknowledgement of our relationship. We would like that for us and for Thomas.

Knowing us it would involve good food, good red wine at a place that was comfortable and inviting for the people we love. For Thomas there would be cake, streamers, balloons and dancing. The attention would be on us for a short while, followed by an evening or afternoon of enjoyment for everyone

If you want to play too, leave me a comment saying "interview me." The first five commenters will be the participants.

* I will respond by asking you five questions.
* You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions.
* You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
* When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.


Shelli said...

glad the new meds seem to be working!

And I had NO idea that Australia had clinics that would refuse to insem singles women and lesbians!

Here in the states, sperm is ordered through banks, and sent to RE offices. Your doctor has to sign off on the sperm, but YOU do all of the shopping.

I think the UK has the same policy as you, however....


and Malka thanks you for the compliment!

Clare said...

Sometimes it is the clinics - and in some states there are laws about single women and lesbians not being able to use the clinics.

But in my lovely state that is not so... what is so, however, is that the children are able to track down the bloke who provided the sperm after they turn 18 if they wish. Therefore blokes are able to indicate their permission for single women and/or lesbians to get the sperm!