A teddy bear from KM has replaced the ultrasound photo that was going to be his ‘news’ today.
Yes, we finally told him about the baby.
I will admit I was a bit concerned about what his reaction would be but we couldn’t have hoped for better. We waited until Friday morning when he came and hopped into bed for his snuggle.
When Gaye told him she had been to the dr and got a baby in her tummy he looked a bit shocked, but she followed it up with a comment about how fat she was going to get and how she wouldn’t be able to reach her shoes. He was completely taken with that and it all got pretty hilarious with his comments about not standing on her head or the baby would come out her nose. He is completely taken with the thought of the new gender balance in our household (he includes the dog – and yes we found out but I can’t tell you as that is Thomas secret to tell not mine!) and the idea that we might swap the s*x of the puppy was suggested but was hotly counted by him.
He was very interested to see the ultrasound shots, asked questions about what the baby was eating (including a comment about the baby not feeling like avocado so it would wait in Gaye’s tummy until it wanted it) and how did it actually get the food. We looked at pregnancy books and video footage of him as a baby.
We had decided to let him come up with the terms he would use to describe his relationship with the baby and support him in that ('in my family', 'brother or sister' etc) as he is going through a bit of a definite stage so we don’t want to back him into a corner and end up fighting about something that we are pretty sure will resolve itself once the actual baby is born.
He woke up pretty grumpy with Gaye the next morning. And after circus classes he had to spend an hour with her while I went for a massage. He was not impressed. Informing me that he ‘really didn’t like to be left with Gaye that much' (all evidence to the contrary up until this point). He didn’t want to do anything she needed to do and Gaye admitted to me that she was psyching herself up for a bit of a hard hour.
As it turned out they had a lovely hour, rushing around getting treats for the upcoming visit with Ann and buying gifts for Denis her brother who had been left at home with his parents. He was completely angelic apparently and as they were walking around the shops Gaye said they would have seen about 20 pregnant women. He turned to her and said ‘ do you think your tummy is getting bigger yet?' she said ‘hmmm I don’t know darling, what do you think' he had a good look and said “Nahh” (Gaye is 20 weeks on Wednesday, her belly is definitely bigger. We have been wondering how come he has not noticed.)
Apparently, there was someone giving out tastes of some food or another and she said to Thomas. “Would you like to try while your Mummy is shopping?” His answer was ‘No thank you, she is not my Mummy but she does have a baby in her tummy'
It got better still when he and Ann came racing in while we were preparing dinner that night (with my mother, sister and father sitting at the table) and he pointed at Gaye’s belly. ‘in there’ he said. She said “sure Thomas. Aunty Clare, Thomas says he has a brother/sister in Gaye’s tummy” I said “well that is right there is a baby in Gaye’s belly”
(Turn to look at Gaye who has got all teary cause he has used those terms, followed by an overwhelming strong urge to giggle hysterically as I remember that my mother is sitting nearby. She still has not said A THING about the baby)
The next morning he showed Ann an ultrasound photo and again said ‘ see this is my broth/sis ter. (more tears from Gaye and this time me too).
So we are feeling hopeful. We are trying to be very low key about it and I am sure there will be up days and down days. And although I told his teacher this morning so she would be prepared I have told him it is his news to tell at school. Today, the baby has been put firmly in place, as KM concert and going with his cousin was definitely more important!