I have been trying to get up the nerve to write about my Dad. But the very act of writing makes it more real and so I avoid - even thou I often feel much better for writing about things in my life.
I spent the end of last week with him. I can't tell you how hard is was to leave him drive back to Sydney, I had a little weep between Goulburn and Mittagong!
He is okay, but it was such a shock to see him - he has lost 11 kilos and he wasn't large to start with. Frail. Gaunt. Are the words that come to mind. And old.
My Dad is only 65, and my hope is that this will be an illness he gets past and over. I was a bit inspired (as his he) by our long term neighbour and friend who is now 5 years clear of bowel cancer. This is my plan for Dad too!
But right now - it is hard to see him in pain, worn out and without his usual umph.