Papa

Sick and churning is how I feel…My lovely Dad and my boys Papa has just gone in for 5 hours plus of surgery as they have found a tumour in his bowel. Dad is a pretty emotional man and there has been more than one tear shed and shared this morning and in the last few days at the thought of him going under the knife. Dad has always been convinced that he wouldn’t live past 62 – the age both his father and grandfather died. He turned 65 last week, and my sense is he thinks he had more of a run than he expected.

There is no need – at this stage - not to be hopeful we won’t know if it is cancer until after the operation, but the other tests have come out well and so I am pretty confident. But it is major surgery and his recovery will be slow. He is expected to have at least 10 days in hospital, and at least 3 of those in intensive care. He has been calm and brave at the thought of his recovery and potential ongoing treatment.

I am so lucky to have a really good and straightforward relationship with my Dad. It wasn’t always this way. But we really sorted through any odd and leftover childhood dynamics and drama in my mid 20s. And now our relationship is strong and mutually supportive. I really enjoy hanging out and spending time with my Dad and he has stayed with us regularly. I really love my Dad and he is a real and positive presence in my life and my boys lives.

I am thinking of my Dad right now …

All the way to the dog park

We took a lovely long ride with Thomas, Al and Thunder - the dog - today. We rode from our place to Cafe Bones about 8kms return we think. This was a big effort as Thomas has been pretty scared of bike rides since he broke his arm the second time and Al hasn't gone on the wee rider for anything longer than short trips.

It sort of went like this, Thomas in the front taking his role of road and car checker V seriously, discussing issues of the world as he rode along. Next came Gaye with Al in the wee rider trying to answer major life questions while not riding to close because one can never tell when there will be a quick and unannounced stop from our leader. Finally me with Thunder galloping along side me - occasionally him going one way around a pole and me going the other until he learnt that meant his lead got a big pull. The sun was shining

We arrived triumphant at the park and the dogs and boys played. Then we turned around and rode home again.

Alfred and I

Are at home together this afternoon. We are both feeling pretty rotten. He is sick and I have had no sleep. I have a complaining baby on my hip and I feel pretty much the same. I could just cry -infact I already have today.

I have chicken stock on the stove for some warming and heartening chicken risotto -yum- tonight.

Thomas went off to school camp today for the first time in his whole life I won't see/speak to him for a whole day. He will be back on Friday afternoon - no doubt full of camp fun and with a bag full of wet and filthy clothes. I am hoping he has a completely fabulous time.

I was a bit worried he might wet the bed - not something he has done for ages, but he has been known to in times of stress - so I carefully packed two sleeping bags. One at the bottom of his bag so noone need ever know. With instructions just to shove the other back in the bag if there was a problem and we would sort out it when he got home and not to worry about it.

Two minutes into our arrival at school he had announced to all and sundry that he had two sleeping bags!

sunshine and rain

How good was it to pull out the scooter this morning and walk (me) and scoot (him) to work and school. Especially good after these last two weeks of rain – which have left my garden green and over grown, my tanks full and my drier in need of a bex and a good lie down.

I really love our walks to school. Thomas just does not stop talking. Today’s topics were ‘school camp’ sleeping arrangements – as in will his new friend Jimmy and he who chose each other to be their bunk mates actually end up being bunk mates. Thomas is concerned because Alex who has been Jimmy’s friend for sometime has been away the last six weeks or so and Thomas and Jimmy have found each other in the breach. Alex – who Thomas does get on with too – is due back next week, so I think Thomas is feeling a bit nervous he might get cast out.

We have met up with Jimmy’s mum and she seems very nice. His Dad just lives around the corner. Alex parents seem nice as well. These are friendships I am happy to encourage so I am hoping we will find that the three will be mates together…

The other topic of conversations was to do with Pok@mon a topic that Thomas can wax lyrical about for hours and days at a time about. Regardless of my ability – or rather lack of it – to contribute.

I always arrive at my desk and computer based job feeling much better for a walk to school and work. Albeit with a scooter and helmet in toe (sometimes I do jump on it).

The weekend ahead is full of family. We are celebrating my Dad’s 65th this weekend. Not usually a massive date I know – but his 60th and that of my Mum was overshadowed by the fires and rebuilding. This birthday is sure to be a bit emotional too, as Dad (my lovely Dad) has just found out he has a tumour in his bowel which needs operating on. His biopsy was clear but the doctor did not like the look of it so ofcourse we are all a bit worried. Thou I remain hopeful that will all be okay.

My email to Penny Sharpe

Dear Penny,

I have just had a chance to read your speech to House on the Miscellaneous Acts Amendment (Same Sex Relationships) Bill 2008 and wanted to pass on my thanks for all of your good work in this area. It is such a positive step forward for recognition of all types of families.

In some ways of course it won’t change anything in our lives - like your daughter, Thomas and Al are already really clear about our roles and connections to each other which have nothing to do with laws or biology. But in others of course it makes all the difference to us - in the day to day interactions we have with the wider world and the public and formal recognition of our family. Personally - confident as I have felt about my love and responsibility for Al I have been surprised in someways about how emotional I have felt at knowing that our relationship and that of Thomas’ with Gaye (and for that matter the boys to each other) will be formally and more broadly acknowledged.

Best wishes to you and your family...

I sent similar ones to my local member and federal member and the Premier.

Miscellaneous Acts Amendment (Same Sex Relationships) Bill 2008